Sunday, January 20, 2013
A Letter from my dear friend Lisa.
Not only am I fortunate during this journey we are on, to have people that have a real understanding of our life and my children, but my children are also fortunate to have met other children that are just like them in one way or another. A friendship that maybe is displayed by just playing side by side, with no words or looks - just being close to each other is in a goal of itself.
Our family is actually welcome to all of our friends homes, but even though they might not notice, I am watching them like a hawk. Making sure Owen is not perched in the window like a cat, or that Ben isn't obsessively taking over the entire train area and hoarding all the trains - we watch, and we are always ready to hear a comment, catch a look - we know, and it is alright, because even though they are accepted, there is still a level of unknown that they just never will.
Until you enter another home, much like yours - Autism proof and Autism accepted, unconditionally.
This was us this past Friday, on a PD day - here is a letter my friend Lisa wrote, and she has allowed me to share it with you.
--- This Friday was a pd day. Which means the children are home as the teachers and EA's have training. I have 5 little ones still at home. We decided to have a playdate. A very amazing playdate. As a mom with a child who has ASD, he doesn't get invited much (AT ALL) for any playdates, to play at a friend's house, why even my good friends never invite our children over. Infact they'd rather come here, God forbid one of my kids touches something or screams, even when people come here and J acts up, they high tale it pretty quickly. Their older children give their parents looks, roll their eyes, whisper in the parents ears ( we are bored, we want to go home, he is so annoying) ect. I'm used to it. It has happened ever since we lived here. We just go with the flow. Some "friends" will invite the children over sparingly for a swim...but it's always on gaurd for me , as i really don't like other people disciplining my children. So many rules at other people's houses. Some that are hard for my J to fully comprehend. He tries, but his impulsivness get in his way.
Sooo back to the PD day. We have the most wonderful support group through autism Niagara. Us moms have bonded. For we all have something in common. IBI, toilet training, obsessions, repetitive behaviours, ect. because we are all parents of a child / children who have ASD. Our children are all very different. But the beauty of it is that us parents , that doesn't matter to us. All of their children and mine are accepted unconditionally .. no if ands or buts. We are there for each other. For our children. To appreciate their beauty, their individuality, their sweetness, their awesomeness and any behaviours that may get in the way. Their is no judgement, no whispers behind backs, no stares , no rude comments , no eye rolling..NO NONE OF THAT. That is the beauty of having each other. And our children .
So on Friday , this past PD day, i thought it would be great to have a moms coffee/tea visit, to catch up and of course have a playdate for all of of our children who could make it.
I must say, It went incediblly well. The dog frightened a few of the little ones initially, but also made some friends. The children played amongst each other, some on the computer, some on I pads and I touches, some played in the girls room with the doll house. Some of the children explored our house (there is so much to explore. They all enjoyed a snack and thanks to Anita who made gluten free banana bread there was something for everyone. When I looked downstairs and saw our beautiful children just being happy being themselves. It literally gave me goosebumps.
I for one had a very enjoyable time getting to know every ones children a little bit more, spending time with the ladies and catching up, no topic is too tough for us to share. These women , these wonderful , caring, amazing women are my heroes. Thank you all for coming on out. Love you all.
ps sorry our friends Kelli and Chrisie were not able to make it .. xo