Owen and Ben's Journey Through Autism

Owen and Ben's Journey Through Autism

Thursday, November 8, 2012

Are you prepared?

We have had a lot of changes in our household, and family within the past month. More so, within our household, dramatic changes to our family dynamic.

As posted before, I have been, "under the knife" a lot ... and with the future of going under again in the matter of a few short months, Ryan and I have been doing a lot of talking, a lot of planning for our future, just a lot of, "what if's, buts, and just in cases". We wrote our Will a few years ago, and anytime I had ANOTHER child, or we bought something new or etc. we updated it, so it has been updated several times.

A hard thing to discuss with the love of your life and family, is anticipating that there will be an end, and we won't be here for ever, and we need to plan when our ever comes to an end. This topic for some people seems a bit mobid, and a lot of people have a hardtime talking about it, but Ryan and I are not like that; we are able to discuss all the issues and actually feel better by doing it.

I have found in this process, when you have children it gets complicated, but then throw on some special needs and it gets a whole lot crazier. We are unsure at this point how Owen and Ben will develop, and we need to plan for that. We need to plan if they will be with us for the rest of our lives, who will handle their lives and finances, where will they live? Do I offer it to Maddie first or will she want to have her own family? We need to plan for school, for weddings, for everything I would want to help my children out and I am not here.

 Morbid yes - necessity, defiently.

With so much happening, and I am a worry wart about surgeries (3 in 6 months is quite a bit), it makes me feel better that Ryan re-assures me that everything will be okay. I remember going in the hospital, to have my scheduled c-section with Owen, and the last thing I said to Ryan before I went into surgery was, "If you have to make a choice between me or Owen, you pick Owen". That is how it has always been, and I know Ryan is a great father and provider.

It's amazing when you sit down and try and figure out your life, and plan for a future.

1 comment:

  1. <3 the scenarios run through my mind everyday of one of us passing suddenly, who would take care of Nathan. Unfortunately I have seen just lately that most of my family members, loving, though they may be, have very poor coping skills and could never opt to take care of my kids. But in that line of thinking, we did not opt for the special needs angels that we got. I guess we do the best we can and they would too, but my messed up way of thinking is nobody's best is better than my best. I tend now to just think about money and getting him into a residential home when he gets to that age. I know family would love and watch out for him and make sure he had the basics. My hubby would not know how to set that up, nor would my parents, so this is something i need to get on a.s.a.p. You are absolutely right. It is not easy with typical children...special needs adds soooo many more dimensions to consider.