Owen and Ben's Journey Through Autism

Owen and Ben's Journey Through Autism

Sunday, September 16, 2012

Single mom for a week.. the in's and out's.

I was nervous, I haven't been alone in a long time... in charge of the money spent, the kids, everything. Ryan asked me well over a couple months ago if I would mind if he went to Florida, with work as a client needed 2 Support Staff (had to be bigger men) to go with him and his family to Disney World.

As Ryan has never been to Florida, let alone Disney world: I said he legit would be stupid if he didn't go. As the date came closer, and closer: I had to deal with the fact that for 5 days I would be husband-less, and then I looked at the brighter side of the equation.

I learned a lot over the 5 days Ryan was having a great time in Florida:

The good:

- I am a clean person, my house was perfectly clean for 5 straight days
- I like private time to do laundry
- I wash the dishes after every meal, its cleaner: I don't like when they pile up
- I enjoyed having my own time, to putter around our house, to clean up the floor while the kids were at school, to find no pop cans anywhere :)
-We ate at home but one night for dinner, Thursday we went to McDonalds
-I didn't have to share anytime with the kids, they were allllll mine
-I didn't have to share the TV, and watch stupid Ryan shows
-The little break made me miss him so much, so we had Skype date one evening
-Our minivan was kept super clean all week
-When he surprised the kids when we were at the Great Wolf Lodge, it was the best reaction I have ever seen. Owen opened the door and said, "surprise" :)

The Bad:

-I missed someone to talk to about my day
-I missed venting about issues with the kids: especially the Resource Teacher issue ;)
-Ryan had brutal Internet connection, so when Owen was trying to message him it never went through, which made me a sad mom for him.
-I had a hard time trying to explain where Ryan was to the kids: and if I showed them on the Internet, they would have been pissed.
-I don't do "dad" stuff, he is the "fun" parent I am the "organized, structured, warrior parent".. we can't do it all, lol.

The Ugly:

-The house is back to being a disaster where ever my dear husband goes, I have already cleaned up 4 coke cans, 1 dirty plate, 1 dirty cereal bowl, 1 dirty shower towel, and closed about 5 cupboards.
-The car is dirty with rugby shit already.

I came from a mom who (is my youngest years) was a single mom, worked her butt off at the paper mill in Thorold, shift work. I lived at my nanas, aunts, or grandparents on the weekend while she worked shift work: but she did it. My dad was hardly ever in the picture (deadbeat), so I know in some level whats it like. I have to say, that having the kids to myself for the week and having a life to myself, was awesome. I liked having all the time in the world with the kids, but a benefit I had was I had the week off work: I would guarantee that being back to work, and trying to figure this life out with 3 children would be soooo much harder, a lot less roses: very different then the life we had this past week. I have a lot of friends in my life that live like this 24/7, and I give them the up most respect for what they do everyday, it is no easy task, and they are amazing women.

I will be honest, if there was one thing I learned at the end of this week: even though he makes a lot of mess and drinks an excessive amount of coke, I still really really like when he's around.



  1. oh vanessa, I could have sworn you were talking about steve!!
    He's the same way

    I can understand the pro's and con's of the hubby being away, steve works away more often than not!!!
    But by the weekend, Im ready for him to come home

    Glad he had a great time

  2. Hahaha, a lot of men are so dirty - NASTY haha. It was great that he got this experience, and it makes him want to take our kids so bad :)

    I liked having this time too, but I like having him here more :)

  3. <3 glad you had a good week...you're so positive and that is what makes all the difference! I agree, a little time apart here and there helps you remember why you love someone and how helpful they really are. Might need to send mine away a.s.a.p. LOL.