Owen and Ben's Journey Through Autism

Owen and Ben's Journey Through Autism

Thursday, March 22, 2012

How are we going to do it?

How do people do it? How are they given so much in their lives that they are responsible for, and then add to it? I am not sure how I am going to do it, where to start, or where the time in the day is going to come from.

I am saying this because today was another milestone in Ben's new journey, we had Ben's speech assessment through Speech Services Niagara this morning. Like any appointment I tried to get it all figured our through my head before we got there - I wanted to have myself prepared for the best and ready for the worst... but I am not sure what was what?!.

We went to the satellite location here in Niagara Falls, and had the same woman that Maddie had a couple months ago- she is super nice, but I intentionally did not bring Ben to Maddies appointment because I wanted the Speech Pathologist to see Ben alone for the first time, so of course no Maddie was brought to the appointment today.
The appointment started like any other, first going through the history of my pregnancy, and then Ben's communication, regression, and where we are going from here. Then, she began to observe Ben, and ask me questions throughout.. noticing where he is struggling and also, the positives he is displaying.

Here were the results of our Assessment today and where we go with Ben from here -

* Ben has a significant communication/language delay
* Ben has obvious Sensory Issues
* Ben has great eye contact
* Ben has great joint attention
* The few words Ben has, he uses appropriately.
* Would benefit from the Stepping Stones Program at NPCC (Owen was in that program as well.. many many many posts ago)
* Would benefit from a therapy team at NPCC (exactly what Owen has, Speech, OT etc)

I didn't know what I wanted to hear when I left that appointment today. I didn't know if I wanted to hear that he was just behind, or what we were told that he needed a team like his brother does. This is the feeling I think I was dreading the whole time, we are back to square 1. Even though Ben is a totally different person than Owen, we are in all the same agencies again, and we are starting the same programs. I remember the speech assessment with Owen, it was very similar to Ben's today - looking for pretend play, listening for the sounds, and of course asking if I am concerned for his hearing - umm no. :)

So what I am feeling right now - a little numb, a little different - I feel like I need to take a HUGE breath, take this alone time with my husband next week, and regain my strength that I know is there. How do we add more appointments in our lives? We are already filled to the tits with Speech, OT, Bethesda, School for 2 of them, regular Doctor appointments - now let's time that by 2.. Then also we can't forget to add Brick By Brick.. how is this going to be possible, all the while both of us work full time?? It's like it is time for a pep-talk, we did this once and look how far he has come - he is hope for Ben, and we CAN do this again. Once we get back, we start the process. We see Dr. Snyder and Brick By Brick in April, hopefully start therapy for Ben in May, and then the amazing blessed fundraiser June 8th.

We have a lot of big things happening in our life, and this in my heart, is the official start of it all.


  1. Sometimes our strength comes through the most when people need us. Really need us. You are doing it(and making it look easy) not because you have to (that is a burden) but because you love truly and deeply. God has given you a very important task because he knew you would be perfect for it. To us you are a saint and an angel, but to them you are just the best mom ever. What looks like hard work to some, you see as a blessing and gift. God is most happy when we take the gifts he has given us and make them grow, improve and multiply. That is exactly what you are doing with your boys. You are giving them wings.

  2. I don't even know what say, oxoxox. Thank you so much oxoxoxox.