Saturday, February 4, 2012
2 years later - new journey, new name, new life.
I bet if you have read my facebook status with this link, to this new website address you are shocked. You hear of Autism being so prevalent, but to think, we now are on a whole new journey with Autism and it has Owen and Ben in the drivers seats.
I changed the blog website so now I can write about Benjamin's journey, keep you updated on Owen (of course) and share our triumphs, struggles, joy and pain with all our readers, much like we did for Owen.
I have wrote about Ben and our suspicions for a while, since he was 13 months, and he is now going to be 2 at the end of this month. I wrote how I saw things, little quirks that reminded me of his brother Owen.. I wasn't letting myself just enjoy being a mother of 3 kids.. I was always looking for something that I was hoping was never there.
At about 16-17 months, we thought we may be in the clear. Ben began to speak - he was learning words, pointing words out in books we would say to him, we thought he was alright.. sure, he had some little behaviours, but he was talking. Then it happened.. he went through regression.
Regression - having something then loosing it, never seeing it again. I wrote years ago Owen experiencing regression, now I was watching a replay of my youngest going through the same thing. By 18-20 months, what he learned vanished, they were replaced by severe tantrums, spinning, visual stimulation, episodes of minimal lining up, transition issues.. and the list goes on. What is different from my 2 boys, Ben can learn new words quickly at this age, 24 months - Owen could not.. but Ben will say them, and you wont hear them again.
Ben went to the same developmental pediatrician that Owen went to, and now we are awaiting our referral to Dr. Snyder, she will do the assessment, tell us where Ben is, what form of ASD it is - he is so different from Owen, behaviours but not so much in his own world - maybe PDD-NOS? (Pervasive Developmental Disorder - Not Otherwise Specified) maybe it is Classic ASD like Owen, but not severe? maybe Moderate?
After I cried, (continue to cry) and I mourn the life I thought Ben would have, put so much on him to have a, "typical" son - those feelings have changed, and everyday they change a little more. Being a family of 2 Boys with ASD, is our best bet to stay here? To wait another year for Owen's IBI to start through Bethesda, and Ben may have a 3 year wait, who knows?
All I know is, I am taking a lot of time for myself, for my boys, for my princess Maddie and for our marriage. We have a lot of tough choices to make on this life-changing journey, more so than we ever had with Owen.