Friday, July 15, 2011
As many times we have celebrated Owens accomplishments, praised and watch in awe as he learns new things, conquers whatever is put in front of him.. you still have those times that really have nothing to do with Owen that still makes you so shocked, and not in a good way.
I have seen people in the past year and a half, since Owen was diagnosed officially, come and go. Some I have loved, others that I literally had a party when they left our lives. The reasoning was different for all of them, some didn't know how to be there for Owen and our little family of 5, others wanted to take the reins and lead us on this journey with no clue where to start and would be angry, some just didn't know what this disorder is and all it includes, until they are faced with it and realize that they can't be apart of it, and lastly and frankly the worse in my books - some ignorant and selfish people, made HIS issue, something that only Owen and others in his shoes will go through - all about them.
I really thought, that Owen having such a complex disorder, that we would only receive support and love with the choices we have made, I guess in a magical world people would stand behind us, putting their trust into his parents, sadly some people are so imature and insecure, sadly, even Owen could not have his own issues, it had to be shared.
Its hard for me to hear people criticize Ryan and I, because (and maybe I am wrong or big headed) but I truly believe that Ryan and I were supposed to work at Bethesda (home for adults with developmental disabilities, including Autism). I believe everything in my life has happened for a reason, Ryan and I were in JK together to meet, I was supposed to date losers and have a loser father to appreciate my husband I have, Owen was supposed to be our happy surprise when we were only 22.. it has all happened for a bigger picture. We have made every thought, action, and choice to only benefit Owen to make his life as best as it can be, we have exhausted every resource available to us through work and friends - we have done it all that unfortunately, a lot of parents in our situation wouldn't know they had access too.
I write this today, but still I see that people not in our lives, and will never be again, still use my son as leverage in their personal lives, use it as a cause they want to fight for but constantly put down his resources and his parents, and to be honest, these people make me sick. I truly cannot understand what type of jerk takes an issue so tender and has made us the people we are today, and makes it about them, due to their insecurity. Who has nothing better to do than talk about him and his quirks because they need to feel important, to lie, manipulate, to hurt me like no other has done.
This is the reason, and these are the type of people that make me angry, make me experience feelings of hate, and who I will protect my children from for the rest of my days. If you are reading this and you are not in my life for a reason, here it is, and you make me sick.
Let's call this a mental health Friday moment.