Monday, June 20, 2011
Hey, you gotta problem with little kids?
I struggle being a parent, but who doesn't? Who isn't concerned 24 hrs a day that you are making the right choices, the right path for your child to follow, that you are defending them as much as you possibly could be?! That's normal right?
What I have found more recently then ever before, is my struggle that I can not change people's ignorance to the fact that yes, Owen is different, and yes, he does things that typical kids may not do.. but you REALLY do not have to stare and talk just so quietly that his mother can hear you.. its that issue that I struggle with.
I am a pretty abrasive person, chances are, if I don't like you, you know. If I love you, you will know that too, its the way I am, I am not fake, and I would never want someone to be my friend if they didn't want too..that's how it is. Ryan is like Owen right now, he doesn't care what people think of him, tells it like it is.. I like that.
This bring us to Saturday, Ryans rugby game in Norfolk. Since lately I have been feeling ever so down, I have been really trying to get out of the house, get the kids out, and keep on moving. So, we decided to go to Norfolk to watch daddy play rugby. The weather was perfect, the kids were great. Owen wandered around the field, Maddie close behind him, and Ben relaxed with me watching the rays. What I began to play close attention to most of the game instead of my hubby, was the 4 teenagers sitting at the top of the bleachers, watching Owen, mocking, and whispering.. but I knew. I knew that they were judging him, they were saying mean things.. I knew. I let it go, Owen did his thing, and he didn't know what was going on, it wasn't effecting him.. only me.
As the game was ending, the kids wanted to run off, so a friend of mine ran off with them, and I could them literally hear them, talking about my son, how dare they. So, my friend made a comment, then I did, but still the stares. As Ryan ran off the field, I explained how they hurt me, and I could not believe it, who does that? A player from Ryans rugby team then yelled at the teens, "hey, you gotta problem with little kids"..no response, but Ryan knew I was bothered, and what he said to me made all the sense in the world, but didn't fix my issue. He said, we can not fix people talking or staring, it is going to happen, we need to get used to it. BUT, if they ever call him a horrible name, its over.
I guess this part of being a parent to a child with a disability may be one of the hardest, that we can not control other peoples ignorance, no matter how much it hurts. I talk to other parents who go through this constantly, the staring, the mocking, and you wonder how grown adults could behave in such a manner? Even when I make sure I wear all my Autism clothing, my bags, everything - you can not stop the ignorance.
Let's hope more people will be educated on our children, or I grow bigger shoulders.