Monday, February 21, 2011
Who knew hearing the ABC's would make my past month worth the tears?
Yes, things have been hard - super hard.. but it is getting better, and I have only to truly thank my amazing husband and our children, they give me the strength..honestly.
Riding this rollarcoaster has not been fun, and I guess the most frustrating part of the ride is knowing Owen is hardly a cause of it.. it is all the outside influences.
The last couple days, I have felt like myself again. I am laughing, loving, and my glow is coming back - for a couple days, I was so, "depresso" in Ryans words, and I hated it.. it wasn't me.. at all.
One thing I get annoyed about, and it is really no ones fault what so ever, I have no idea how smart Owen truly is. I know he is, by the things that Ryan and I have seen, or by what I am told by his therapists and his resource teacher - but I don't think I truly know, until lately.
The first time it hit me, was when I was at my ASD Support group, and was telling the moms there that Owen was trained in 5 days, fully, including naps and nighttime.. I thought Owen being 3 and 1/2 he was late, and he was compared to all my friends kids..but I guess in our Autism world he was advanced.. and I never looked at it like that.
The 2nd time I knew it was for sure, when I was watching his ability to learn, and how he loves counting and now is able to count to 30, and recognize numbers from 1-10..and just recently, sang Ryan and I his ABC'S...I was a fantastic, emotional wreck and it was amazing. I honestly had no idea he knew the whole ABC's, but since he has figured out our computer he is searching for his phonics songs, and now knows them.. and the best part - he now can recognize letters as well :)
To be honest, hearing my little man who was non-verbal a year ago have verbal diarrhea lately, has made me stronger and be a better mom.. he has taken me out of my rut, I have stopped concentrating on the things Ben can not do yet, and seeing all the amazing things he can do for a 1 yr old, he has made me remember that family good or bad are lucky to be apart of our little family, and fortunate to see the progress Owen makes all the time, and the awesomeness of Maddie and Ben as kids.. I am really putting my mind to the thinking we have a lot more good than bad in our lives - and momma bear Vanessa is back :)
Have a wonderful week my friends.