Sunday, October 3, 2010
Just trying to be the best mother I can be..
Like I said in my birthday post - I am feeling like this is my time. This is a time in my life, where for the first time ever, I am feeling that I have become the person I wanted to be. Having said that, now I feel like I need to improve every aspect in my life, not limited to be including, my health, my relationships, my everything.
I have to say, so far this change has been a drastic one, but so worthwhile. As I explained to another family we are becoming closer with, the Semarks, that have their amazing son Ryan. I have wrote about Ryan and his family before, and Ryan was diagnosed with Autism right after Owen was this year. Kelli and her husband Adam have such a simliair story to ours, and I can not even describe how amazing it was to have such an indepth conversation with a couple that truly understand where we are coming from. When we were discussing our children, we all could agree that dealing with friends and family who do not understand is such a struggle, and sometimes unfortuantely, we have had to cut people out of our lives for the betterment of our children.
This has been so huge in my life as of March this year. It is almost like Owen has given me a new set of balls, that I always thought I had, but actually never did till I became his advocate. I have always let people push me around, use me as a doormat, but when they attempt to treat my children that way - solution simple - GONE. Maybe this is something other people will never understand, that I can dismiss people out of our lives, but it is because no one did that for me when I felt like I was unwanted, and I swore my children would never feel that pain as children, and I keep my promises.
I could probably say as well, our health has changed huge in the past year. As most of you know, Ryan and I have been on a fitness website, logging in our calorie intake, any sort of exercise we do in a day, and making healthier choices. I think I could speak for the both of us, this was not just an image thing. I just gave birth to Ben this past Febuary, and was so unheathly. I will be honest, I eat only junkfood when I am pregnant, and I love every second of it. What I don't think about, is the life after pregnancy. I was not healthy at all, walking up the stairs to do laundry, I was huffing and puffing. I started at 204 lbs when I had Ben, and by June, I lost 20lbs on my own, and was down to 184 lbs. I was still not happy, and after our walk for Autism in June, I also was not heathly. So, after a talk with the other half, I joined GoodLife Fitness in Niagara Falls. This gym is great if you are a parent, it has great babysitting, and great hours.
Ryan was the same. No, he was not pregnant, but he sure did put on all the weight of a pregnant lady plus some. As I said, I would eat junkfood a couple times a day being pregnant, and being a good wife (or so I thought!) I would bring my cravings home, and give it to Ryan as well. He was a whopping 330lbs, and severely unhealthy. There would be times we would be driving, and he would grab his chest. He plays rugby every summer, and the past 3 years, he could barely run the field, and never have the energy to stay the whole game. He had knee problems, and was just so unheathly for a man of 25.
As soon as I began to change my lifestyle, he joined too. He saw the progress I was making, and decided to change his life, not only to be healthier for himself, but for our children. We are showing them everyday what being healthy is, taking care of yourself - body, mind and soul. We have become happier people, have more energy for the kids, and just have a better outlook on life. We want to stay around to see Owen amaze the world, Maddie to be the actress in Hollywood that I know she is going to strive to be, and to see Ben being our little ladies man :)
Lastly, our relationships. As I said before, we are getting rid of the negative in our lives, but also embracing and celebrating the amazing people within our lives as well. We have been so blessed with family members willing at a moments notice, to help with the children, help fixing up our home, and just being an ear sometimes. We also have been so fortunate to have a chosen family, our friends. We have been really spending more time with our friends, they are such outlets for support, love, and laughs. I can not imagine our lives without any of these people, we are so lucky to have them.
So, there it is. I am putting it out there - I am feeling like I am sucessfully changing my life for the better...what better motivation and inspiration than your children ;)