Tuesday, October 19, 2010
I guess who are we to judge someone's quality of life or understanding?
I have ALWAYS been quick to judge - referred to at my work as, "Judge Judy". I never remember not being like this, I look at someone, hear something, see something - its a trait I am not proud of, and a trait I am working on to change in myself.
The old Vanessa, would judge someones house and their furnishings within to discover what kind of people they are - of course not judging them on their personality or anything - what was I thinking? At work the same, I would judge our clients by where they were coming from, what their disorder was.. not fully understanding the big picture I guess.
For some people, clients in a treatment program, group home, what have you - this is all they have known. A lot of the times, they have beautiful rooms with amazing furnishings, eat well, go one fantastic trips if able too.. they have a great life, and do not know any different of a life. Which in turn, makes me think of Owen, and how if someone were to judge him like I have judged in the past - it would break me.
Living with Owen is quite an adventure, we are trying to teach him everyday new ways to communicate, new abilities with himself like brushing teeth - pulling up his pants when getting dressed - a lot of things we may take for granted, that for Owen, takes repetitiveness to learn. I have to say, he is doing well with his learning, as his preschool, therapy and Ryan and I are fully on board with everything, I guess when you have everyone on the same page it only benefits Owen.
Yesterday, Owen went up to Ryan with his cup, and asked Ryan for, "ilk" ..(milk) and made his way to the kitchen. As Ryan walked in about 30 seconds behind him, Owen had the fridge open and was grabbing the pitcher of milk.. BY HIMSELF!!!! .. of course it was spilled everywhere - but the amazement we were in for him to be able to get his own milk was something we will never forget. I am so quick to judge Owens future, wondering about how his quality of life is going to pan out for him, but Owen doing this yesterday showed me that I should never judge someones quality of life or understanding - because obviously in our case anyway, Owen has a lot he is going to be impressing us with as soon as he can learn the ability to get it all out.. and I will be there with camera, tears and love in hand.