Thursday, October 7, 2010
Bullying - scares me.
Yup- it does. Every time this week I have turned on the TV, watched CNN at the gym, listened to the radio on the way to therapy..it has been all the same - teen suicide. This topic seriously scares me to my core as a mother, and breaks my heart as a human being.
I think the teenage years for mostly everyone, is rough. It is full of emotions, growing, discovery - it can be a scary place. A lot of people that I know and love, including myself, have struggled with this as a teenager - thinking this is going to be your life, and this will never end. Then when you become an adult you than finally realize, this too shall pass. Everyone has their own issues for feeling like you need to end your life, whether it be sexuality, abuse, teasing, maybe like me, your family life.
Why I am blogging about this issue, is because yes, I have gone through the horrible thoughts, and I was strong enough to grow out of it, and move on. On the news, we have been hearing about teens who are homosexuals, finding no other escape from the teasing, but in my situation with Owen, what about a son who is a little different?
Right now in Owen's life, he has no concept of children, and unfortunately adults, looking at him different, this stage in his life - he is alright. He really doesn't care who watches him, laughs at him, loves him - everyone is the same. It pleased me to no greater end today, picking him up from preschool, and finding out he was playing with children today and not just doing his owen thing, and that a little boy Logan, wanted to play with him..and Owen tried to play with him all afternoon. Right now is a nice time being Owens advocating-ever so protective parent, children who are his age are amazing with him.
Then I see all this on the news about when your teenager is different, and will most likely be teased, sometimes, the child has no clue how to deal with it. I can say this is very scary. I am hoping Owen just starts talking and talking, and has little quirks, that yes, some stupid-ass kid will find someway to make fun of him - and either Owen will not care whatsoever..or not notice...or cry it out and move on..this is my hope.
I guess with this issue I have an allie to be places where I can not be all the time - my Maddie. She does not know it yet, and hopefully she will embrace this role for me, as I think she will, she will be my eyes, my Owen protector. I want my children to grow up knowing if anything happens to Ryan or I, they always have each other. I want Ben and Maddie to embrace their roles in Owens life, and hopefully not as a negative one. I always want to be honest with them, not have a selective memory, remember when I was a child and what Ryan and I went through, whether its regarding school, sports, anything - we will always understand.
Also thinking about bullying, I think back to school and how maybe I was perceived. I admit, I was not the nicest person, looking back, I think I picked on people because I myself was completely miserable. I tried to participate in everything I could in high school and date as often and frequent as possible, just to stay away from home, and made fun of people to better my own ego that was completely false...I guess we all make mistakes, and that was mine. Luckily, I store away my attitude now for fighting Owen's battles, and Lord knows we will have a lot in our future to fight.
So whatever, Bullying anyone is all the same - Gay, Straight, Smart, Dumb, Autistic, Race - whatever it may be..it needs to stop. The greatest teacher is the parent - remember that.