Owen and Ben's Journey Through Autism

Owen and Ben's Journey Through Autism

Monday, September 6, 2010

Thankful


I have been meaning to make a list for myself of things I am thankful for in my life, so why not do it here? This is like my journal, a place where I can come and write my thoughts and feelings :)

I am thankful for -

My 2 amazing sons, and my beautiful daughter.
My hardworking, supportive, funny husband..if we didn't laugh we would cry.
A roof over our heads, food in our bellies, and clothes on our backs.
My ever-so unconventional family.
My new family.
My friends..who have turned into family.
Our sense of humour.
Work Benefits.
My new found strength I never knew I had.
My determination for myself, my family, and especially my son.
Owen is kicking Autism's ass daily.
Maddie is me, but 2 yrs old.
Ben completed my heart.

Things I am NOT thankful for -

Wearing my heart on my sleeve for everyone to see.
Autism.
I can be a doormat.
I take things too personally - good or bad.
Jealousy.
Saggy skin from making babies.
Ignorance.
Things I can not fix.
Seeing my children hurt.
Getting ripped off.

I guess since I became a mother, I have changed .. alot. I find that even now since I have found out about Owen, I have changed even more. I used to take so much crap from people I cared about, and now once they hurt any of my children, I have found it so easy and no regret to officially have them out of our lives for good.
It is like a new strength has come over me like I have never had before, and even though I can not fix them or how they have treated me or my children, I can get all their negativity away from my children.

I remember being about 7 or 8, and certain people in my life starting treating me so different, and made me feel like I was never good enough. I now realize that feeling has never really left, it stays around, which in turn makes me a people pleas er - shocker. I vowed I would NEVER let my children feel that way by anyone in our family or anywhere that I had control over, it is hard enough being a child and growing up, let alone people that are supposed to love you making you feel not good enough - not on my watch.

My children are my life - and as Owens Fundraiser creeps closer and closer, it becomes so much more apparent that being their advocate is not only my job, it is my duty. If I can't protect them as long as I can, who will?

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