Friday, August 27, 2010
"We are in this fight together"
I forget that. I forget that there are so many other amazing, strong, super parents out there that are fighting the same fight as Ryan and I - the fight against Autism. I had a breakdown the other day, it was rough. I wrote on here about my struggles and it was not easy - but I am glad I did it.
I am glad that everyone knows that yes, on the outside I stay strong, happy, and together..but on the inside, it can be a different story. I worry about Owen's behaviours almost too much, and I watch him like a hawk. I see old behaviours vanish, and new ones appear.. and then vice versa. I try and talk to my family and friends, but sometimes it is all the most difficult, as right now in our lives, we are the ones that were picked and blessed to have Autism be a major factor in our lives, no one else.
I am so glad for Support Groups, Facebook, and Owen's therapy - as we have been so blessed to meet so many other families that are in the boat we are in, and get us. I really don't feel bad when we are around other families and Owen screams or flaps, because I know they are dealing with exactly what we are, it is like a weight is taken off my shoulder. It's like for that time, I can let my guard down, and breathe. I am not going to get questions, stares, or whispers - instead, I get laughs, jokes, compassion from one parent to another, and understanding.
As I wrote before, I was fortunate enough to meet my new friend Kelli and her amazing son Ryan, who was also just diagnosed with Autism this year. Kelli worked with Kaelin, and Kaelin and I attend Thorold Secondary School together - small world. As I posted on facebook back in March that we were attending the ASD Seminars, she knew Kelli was as well - and that's how we met! We were able to share stories, laughs and struggles, and I finally felt like I met someone who was in my shoes - so amazing.
I then received a letter today from Owen's therapy, and it was addressed to the Family of Owen Carl. The letter stated this family who also attend therapy, was giving us a donation to help with Owen's Fundraiser. She stated we are all in this fight together - I cried. How amazing that a family who is also struggling to pay for therapy for their child, found it in their hearts to help ours? You do truly see a new light in people when you lay all your cards out on the table, I have seen this so much lately all too well.
I think for me, it was so healthy to have a self pity day. I got the chance to cry, yell, scream, and run questions through my mind that I always do, but change my ever so positive answers into negative - just because that day, I could. It is so funny though, afterwards, I feel better. I felt like I almost had to do that, to re-energize and get back to my ever so loving and advocating self. I am thankful for family and friends who understand, who reassure me that I am still doing a good job for Owen, and just for that one day, I am thankful for my phone that let me turn my ringer off.
But I am recovered, still fighting the good fight for Owen and all the other kiddies suffering from Autism..it can't get rid of all this that easy ;)