Owen and Ben's Journey Through Autism

Owen and Ben's Journey Through Autism

Friday, April 16, 2010

Video Taping Owen

SOoOoOoOo.... I picked up Owen today from IBI, and the therapists were telling me that Owen actually was starting to say, NO! I was so happy!! I said to the girls, I really wish they could video tape his progress... I wish I could be able to see it.. well we can't.. yet.. haha. So tonight, after I fed the kids dinner, I decided to film me working with Owen on the word, No.

This was horrible.. he wanted no part of it.. and could not escape as I had him in the highchair on lock down. I turned the camera on, and I saw him display behaviours I have never seen out of him before. When the demand was placed on him, he began to hit his head on the highchair, try and hit and kick me, and scream bloody murder.. this is a side of Owen I have never seen before.. and I am so glad I caught it on camera. I did this for roughly 20 min.. some on the camera.. some not.

He would not say, NO for the life of him.. and I tried everything.. I got the usual..puppy, baby, and two and three.. that was it.. he was so angry at me for doing this to him.. but it was interesting.

I felt so bad for him, I could tell he wanted to say it to get me away from him, but he just couldn't. It broke my heart when he wanted to hit me, and was trying to find a way to do so.. so I grabbed his hands and I held them and kissed them, and its almost like that is really what he wanted.. he didn't want to hurt me.. he wanted me to love him, and to stop putting him through torture.

I got so emotional.. and I didn't mean to..He was just staring at me.. so blankly.. and I broke down.. all I want is for him to say this one word for me.. why do you say it when you are at IBI, but I am the one who loves you to pieces.. why can't you say it to me?! So I began to cry.. and he showed empathy for about 20 seconds.. that had a nervous laugh to follow.. most likely not understanding why mommy is doing this.

He obviously wanted this whole ordeal to be done with.. so I tried one more thing that we have been working on lately, "all done". The poor kid looked at me, and moved his hands when I said, all done.. I CRIED! I am so proud of him.. I kissed him and loved him up..

I am just looking for some sort of hope.. and even though I didn't get, NO... I got hope through, all done.

oxoxox

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