Owen and Ben's Journey Through Autism

Owen and Ben's Journey Through Autism

Saturday, April 17, 2010

A day to cry - Owen's Haircut Meltdown

I am posting again today, because I once again, am upset. I feel like I can only talk about it so much to people, I need to write it out. Owen has such a rough time with haircuts, and I feel horrible taking him..but it has to get done.

His first haircut, he was roughly 18 months old, and he did really well. He never cried, he actually never cared that it was happening.. and since then, he is now 2 1/2..and it has gotten so much worse. I brought him today, and I warned them on the phone that he is Autistic, and has a rough time letting people he doesn't know touch his hair, and we should come in at a quieter time of the day. So, we went in at 4pm, and it was BUSY.. I am so thankful they had toys for him to play with, and he was content.

When Owen's name was called, I spoke once again to the hair stylist, and told her he was Autistic and his issues with being touched, and that I should have him sit on my lap and we should have Shrek playing on the DVD player.. this was fine. I have to say, we went to Young Headz, with the TV's and such, and they were amazing.

As soon as Shrek came on, he was glowing..so happy that his movie was playing.. but this feeling didn't last for long.. as soon as he was sprayed with water.. he lost it.. he had a complete meltdown. It was probably the longest 10 minutes of both of our lives.. and we were both wishing so much it was over. I had to restrain my son, and constantly reassure him that everything was okay and to relax.. all the while trying to hold my tears back. I feel for him.. and I can only imagine the pain he is going through.. so I held him so tight to let him know I am there.

While the hairdresser is trying to be quick, she was trying to relate to me, saying that her aunt's son was just deemed Autistic and he is 3.. and she is so lost and doesn't know what to do.. and that I am a good mom, and I handle him well... all this just for a haircut. I tried to talk to her, and give her some advice for her aunt, but it is so hard still... the subject for me still is devestating and still very difficult to discuss with just anyone... this is my child.

They tried to help Owen by giving him a book... a sucker.. a shrek doll.. but of course, none of it worked.. all he wanted was to leave, only I could give him that..
So, after a long hard fight, Owen finally was able to leave, and I thanked the hairdressers so much for their patience and their understanding.. and as I am leaving, the owner says to me, "now just remember.. we are never given anything we can not handle".

As Owen and I walk to the mini-van, and I buckle him in.. with my eyes starting to fill up with tears, I begin to drive to my moms to pick-up Ben and Maddie. We start talking about the incident, and I immediately begin to sob...and sob... and sob... I really couldn't even express why I was crying.. I just needed to. I needed to cry for this past week.. for stress, hurt feelings with family, people trying to speak to Owen in Walmart and him just looking back at them so blankly and them not getting the hint that I need to spell it out for them and make Owen feel different, for Owen's rough day at IBI, for today with Owen's touch issues with his haircut.. just for everything lately..everything I wish I could fix for him, for Ben and Maddie, for Ryan and I.. but I can't.

"We are never given anything we can not handle"..this might be true.. but man, what
we are given still tests you to your most inner core sometimes. Here's to a better week ahead.


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