Owen and Ben's Journey Through Autism

Owen and Ben's Journey Through Autism

Thursday, March 18, 2010

What I woke up to this morning

You never know what you actually take the time to sit down and write your inner most feelings and thoughts, how people are going to react. Owen's journey can be taken in many different ways by the readers, "why would she share this.. this is something that should be hidden".. or the reaction I wanted last night before I went to bed was, " wow.. he is an amazing little boy, and his parents seem so proud of him and all he has accomplished so far in his life".

The reaction I actually got when I woke up this morning.. was in fact, something far greater than what I only hoped for. People left me messages of hope, support, love, and encouragement... People I have maybe only talked to a few times in my life, co-workers who truly understand the journey we are embarking on, family who shares in this journey with us, and acquaintances years before now turning into friends, all in all thanks to Facebook... I can only thank you from the bottom of my heart for your love and support for Ryan, myself, and our kids... it has given me such a strong outlook on our future, and for that, I don't think I could ever re-pay any of you to the fullest extent.

So after being teary and over-whelmed by the love in our lives, I crept onto my Mother In Laws Facebook profile.. and saw a poem titled, "A Poem from Owen to his mom and dad called Before I Go To Sleep"...and I cried like a baby. It reminded me while I read it, that Owen is communicating with us, and though it may not be the communicating we wish he would have, its his own way, and its unique and special. Owen does not have to say to us, "I love you mom and dad"... even though I think I will have a complete meltdown and go into shock when I WILL hear those words leave his mouth.. but Owen tells us that everyday... with his kisses.. his big bear hugs.. his cuddling on our laps for hours, and the look in his eyes and his smile when we enter the room...its not everyones cup of tea .. but its ours.

Lastly, I want to share the poem with you.. and hope it touches your heart as it has touched mine.

thank you for reading.. ox.

As most of you may be aware my 2 1/2 yr grandson Owen has been diagnosed with Autism. Today they told his mom and dad that they believe he falls between moderate to severe on the Austism spectrum. Despite all this everyone is ready to dig in, pitch in and do what it ever it takes to give him every opportunity. Our lil grandson is so blessed to be surrounded by love and if he could say something to his mom and dad I think it woud go a lil somthing like this:

Before I Go To Sleep…

Mommy, don't you cry now and Daddy don't you weep.
I want to whisper something before I go to sleep.

I know that when I came here I looked perfect in every way.
And you were so proud, Daddy; when you held me on that day.

And Mommy, when you kissed me and wrapped me up so tight,
I knew that I belonged here and everything was right.

But then I stopped talking and began to slip away,
I saw your worried faces as you knelt by me to pray.

And Daddy, I always notice how you wipe away a tear,
When you watch the other children as they run and laugh and cheer.

I may not be able to tell you how much I love you so,
Or even show you how I feel and what I really know.

But when you hold me, Mommy, at night when all is still,
I feel the love you have for me and I know that all is well.

And Daddy, when you take me to the park to run and play
I know that you still love me through the words I cannot say.

I want to tell you something before I go to sleep.
I may be sort of direct and you may not understand,
I know that I am not that little child that you and Daddy planned.

But I love you both so very much and I know you love me too,
And if I could only speak my heart, you would feel my love for you.

I know the future is unknown and you will always have to be,
The ones who love and listen and take good care of me.

I know that you are frightened and you shed so many tears,
And if I could I'd wipe them dry and take away your fears.

So Mommy, don't you cry now and Daddy please don't weep.
I want to say…I love you both, before I go to sleep.


  1. Oh man Vanessa, apparently you're not the only one crying today! What a perfect little poem that your mother-in-law posted.

    If I have taken away anything from my practical experience, it is this: supportive families make a HUGE difference in treatment outcomes. I don't think that the computer will allow me to place the emphasis on huge that needs to be there! HUGE, GIANT, TREMENDOUS!

    So with that being said, Owen is already miles head on his journey because of the support you and Ryan, as well as your family and friends, have given him and will continue to give to him.

    Owen is a very lucky boy to have wonderful parents like you guys and you guys are lucky parents to have Owen.

    As always, if you need ANYTHING, you just say the word:)

    Thank you for sharing this with us. Your strength and love really is aspiring.

  2. Vanessa, that is beautiful! You and Ryan are truly inspiring and Owen is so lucky to have you as parents. He is and will continue to be an amazing little boy. You will never be in this journey alone and your positive attitude will allow you to rise above anything. Good luck with everything and enjoy watching your little man grow up to be an incredible young man, it goes by way too fast. xo Melissa